of the same litter

the bed is falling apart, imagining little red bloodstains appearing on the sheets that refuse to stay on, pretending to mold the mattress. your heels kick back at me, striking my shin a couple times in between the scratches from the bottom of the door. each scrape at the wood reminds me of the parts of you that have already been splinted off, chipped away, laying now on the carpet kicked around and taken from a place of comfort, an old record you keep close to your ear that brings you back to a place, breaking your heart again. i lay awake mesmerized by each dig as if into your hardened skin, orchestrating the rise and fall of your body.
the brightening of the sky discharges a howl in between the two houses. spitting high along the attics, the wind changes the room into a tomb. the door latched shut by a silvery pick, opening and closing with a squeak, each time blending with the voice of the moaning cat. i toss and sigh, aching for attention. you wake up with concerned sleep settled in your eyes. our mouths collide with precision while the tops of the cars are brushed naked with a soft, blowing voice. the snow glides through the air, white and cold, before evaporating with the wind. our bodies turn one color, sinking into each other like a technicolor vice binding two swaying moods on a ring.
then a cat in your litter starts calling your name in a way i cannot be familiar with, a calming voice that sounds to you as warm as your touch to me. almost as if speaking a secretly learned language. catching eyes with him in the crack of light in the wood brings me back, opening and closing with a diligent push like deep breaths. the slit i fall into, immersed with knowing how you feel when no one's around, the things you say. the cat swipes your phone across the floor, scrambling words you've said and meant. 
you pick up the phone and leave the room with wet eyes, living happily within love, letting in the cat. slowly and methodically marching in a familiar yard, he passes over the carpet he used to piss on. the smell remains the same until he leaps to the bed, finding me in a dark-eyed daze sitting in my own allure, feeling alone at the moment. he looks me in the face, pierced his claw through my purple ankle then stuck his tail in the air without swaying it much. you lift him from the bed, quietly reentering the room with a blurry smile. 
"i see you two have meet." i look up at you without lifting my neck, a thankful look on my face. after you curl up with me we will fall asleep, passing different people in our dreams, bringing animals out of assumption into daunting scenes in the film strip in our brains. pausing on the heightened instances of passion, a feeling that cannot last. i wipe the cat hair from the pillow in a hypnotic trance, forgetting about our love and letting my darkened mind have yours, a new scratching at the door. 

deep sleep

i've been sleeping off a blank stare
you've got me thinking that i've done it all wrong 
were whispered secrets only hot air
 or do you feel like you could never belong to just one instance
and it's useless to find
that anyone's arms are a safe place to hide
(to stay high.) 
when you're slipping through the darkness
you can't calm all the winds at once
turn off all your feeling
to find in time everything just rusts
so when you don't want me
it's just word on the street
and when i find out
i'll fall sunken asleep 
but i don't want to just leave this alone
or i'll be leaving along.   

the couch

"can i sleep with you tonight?" 
the bluish-green glow from the forgotten tv illuminates my darkened figure, cradled in a sound system. it takes a while before your eyes adjust, before you notice it was me. shaking your head out of the afghan draping your body. half asleep you motion for me to just get under the covers, your brain too scrambled to even connect the sentences, too weary to dream straight.
we lay together in the living room, where you have slept as long as i could remember, telling me because he snores too loud. i knew there had to be more to it, like this rerun of cheers keeping me from dreams of a school that i could better understand. there had to be more to the witty jokes of bar stools talking about sports and women, always there while you are on the couch.
your arm glides over my tshirt shoulders as i shy my eyes away from the screen and into your chest. the clicker fell out of your hand to the crumb carpeted floor radiating a  familiar touch that calms my anxious incineration. forgetting i'll have to face others in the morning until i dress for the snow outside to get there. the uncertainties of tomorrow weigh on my young mind with black colors as we drift together through the darkness like mother, like son.